Obnoxious neighbors, now with chainsaws!

Yesterday morning, just after dawn, I dreamt that I was feeding worms to my frogs. As the dream pulled out, we were in a large, bright blue above-ground pool in the apartment's backyard. The pool, a fish pond, and the (not aquatic) frog vivarium all shared the same space, but somehow were separate; all anyone could see of it was the swimming pool, as the pond was (somehow) invisible or incorporeal, and the vivarium was somehow only accessible if you entered the pool and stayed dry. Oh, yeah--the pool was simultaneously wet and dry.

I don't know, folks. I just live in this brain.

A young boy of seven or eight climbed into the pool behind me. I was too surprised to react as he squatted down, helped himself to a worm, and then climbed out. I went to the edge of the pool, and saw a second boy approaching. I climbed up the ladder and put my foot out on his chest as he tried to climb up. I told him to back off in some very unpolite terms, as the shock wore off and was replaced by anger at having my space so casually violated. The boy protested that it wasn't fair, and swore at me. I cussed him out and shooed him away.

"Oh, it's okay," called a voice. I turned and several buildings down, on a large deck, a woman waved from the middle of a group of people. "I told him he could." Uh, no, I called back, and sent the kid on his way out of our yard. I remember thinking, That's why pools are required to be fenced in, stupid neighbors--to keep your damn wandering kids safe!

A few minutes later, a man (who looked suspiciously like Penn, of Penn & Teller) strolled up. He was agitated but pretending excitement, and he circled the pool. "Wow, look at that. Wow. Worms. How much do those cost, huh? Where do you get those, huh? How much?" I moved to block the ladder as he came around and tried to answer him, but he wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise.

Finally, I shouted over him, "You can buy them at the bait shop on [street] and [street]."

"Oh, interesting. Interesting. You know what I've got? A NEW LAWYER! HA! A NEW LAWYER! I'm going to sue your ass!" And then he triumphantly stalked back to the party. Naturally, I was unimpressed, as this little power display made no damn sense whatsoever, so I leaned out of the pool and made a masturbatory gesture toward the party-goers. (I am, after all, the same dreamer who just cussed out a small child. You should see me in waking life.)

The setting around the pool remained bright summer sunlight, with the pool in the middle of it bright and blue, while every other scene of the dream switched to a dark, Halloween setting of dark night and dead leaves. I sat in the pool, just defending my territory, when I heard a loud noise. I looked over, and in the alley, a large man in a mask revved a chainsaw and held it up threateningly. I stared nonchalantly as the man ran after a couple of blonde party-goers pretending to be terrified, chasing them into the yard and around the pool. He waved the chainsaw in my direction menacingly, which was quite sad, given that it was quite obvious who he was, and that he was just trying to intimidate me. (And failing miserably.)

My mother walked out of the house to see what was up, and I climbed out of the pool and told her to call the cops (because the guy was being a douchebag, not because I felt legitimately endangered) as the man did a second run around. He came up on me, raised the chainsaw high over my head, and stood there waiting for a reaction. My mother and I both stared blankly at him like he was a fucking moron. This was clearly not the reaction he wanted, so he waved it again and ran off into the alley.

Somewhere around this point, bits of my brain were waking up, and while I did not consciously realize that it was a dream, I did somehow take control of it. I thought, "I hope the cop who comes is one I know from [job]," and at that point, a police officer arrived and came around to the back of the house. I walked up to greet him and let him know why I'd called, when suddenly the idiot neighbor popped out in the alley and waved his chainsaw.

Cop pulled his gun and shouted for the idiot to drop. The very, very surprised idiot did indeed drop the chainsaw, and then lowered himself to the ground. As he was handcuffed, neighbor tried to explain it away as a prank, while I told the cop that he and the rest of the party-goers had been harassing and attempting to intimidate me all night.

And threatening, added cop. He wasn't going to accept the idea of the chainsaw as a prank. Also, it was threatening him too, which is much more serious than just threatening a civilian like me. So I dreamt up a paddy-wagon, and a lot of cops rounding party-goers, because I was tired of dreaming the bastards even if they weren't actively being bastards. And then the cop asked about any damage.

Hrm. Well...

So I tallied up how much the plants and fish in the (invisible to the cop, and everyone else, including me) pond would cost to replace from the pond shop, because the kid had damaged them. (This did not actually happen in the dream; see below for an explanation.) The idiot neighbor groaned, and the cop agreed with me that, hey, no matter how cheap I started out, I deserved to be compensated at full value, eh?

And at that point, I could no longer deny that I had to use the bathroom, so I closed the dream unfinished and got out of bed.

Notes and explanatory details
#1. Power and territory clearly take center stage. Strangers are claiming authority/power over what is mine, but I won't let them have it; they threaten and attempt to intimidate me, but I stand my ground. What strikes me most is the juxtaposition of the pond and the apartment building.

I did turn a backyard swimming pool into a pond at my old house; it was a smaller, cheaper pool, and it was completely without vivarium, swimming side, or invisibility mode. But I didn't dream of that pond, and I didn't dream of that house, which places the dream firmly in the here and now. (And makes it rare--I dream of the old house quite often, but have never before dreamt of the apartment.)

I have recently been missing my pond, though I'm fairly sure that it is symbolic in the dream, rather than just random nostalgia.

#2. I also had several incidents of assholes trying to steal fish from the old pond, including one boy who ripped plants out of the pool and threw them to the ground as the fish tried to hide in them. He cost us quite a bit of money, the little bastard. The kid in the dream was not this kid, but the dream does refer to this incident.

#3. People in apartment-heavy neighborhoods have no territorial respect, and are generally far more easy-going about boundaries than I am comfortable with. (Get outta my space, people!) Our new neighbor upstairs has made friends with the neighbors in nearby buildings, and so we have had crossed paths a couple of times with random people cutting through the yard, and have had grapes picked from our vine in the yard (probably a different neighbor). At times, it makes me want to erect a six foot barbed wire fence...

#4. During my time working in retail, I've had more than my share of people who've tried to intimidate me. Usually it's someone who's had a bad day and needs to feel powerful by asserting their authoritah over someone they perceive as weaker or lesser. Sometimes, it's someone who's been told 'no' and thinks they can shout and threaten until they get their way--store policy and/or legalities be damned! I recently discussed a couple of these incidents with a friend, so it was fresh in my mind.