mokie | As if millions of sperm suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced...

Feminism exploded all over my Internets from unexpected sources!

The other day, Cracked offered a lesson in tough love with 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person, and in the process nailed Nice Guys: "Don't say that you're a nice guy -- that's the bare minimum. Pretty girls have guys being nice to them 36 times a day. [...D]on't complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer."

Today, Gawker points out [the now-defunct site] "Nice Guys" of OKCupid in all their glorious douchebaggery, complete with a handy flowchart.

I'm surprised. I mean, you expect it of Jezebel, which even offered a field guide to Nice Guys recently, but Cracked? That's dude-central!

Edited for clarification: In much the same way that 'killer whale' as a term refers to a specific breed of whale and not just random homicidal cetaceans, 'Nice Guy' is a term for a specific type of guy engaged in a specific type of behavior, which is described in-depth at the sites linked above.

Essentially, a Nice Guy is a manipulative man who befriends a girl but has ulterior motives in doing so. He has a sexual/romantic interest in her but fears he'll be rejected if he asks her out directly, so instead he attempts to weasel into her circle of friends. There he encourages her to rely on him for emotional support, and often tries to sabotage her relationship by badmouthing whoever she's with ("Why are you with him? He's a jerk!"). The Nice Guy does these things under the mistaken belief that the girl will have a magical epiphany about how great he is, and he'll be upgraded to boyfriend/rewarded with sex. Unfortunately for him, girls can't read minds either, so the object of his affection generally thinks of him as a friend—you know, since that's how he's putting himself out there.

Since he's not actually her friend and it's all a sham, he will eventually turn on her for being a bitch who only likes jerks, and then wander off to whine about friend-zones and how girls only go for assholes who treat them like shit by, oh, asking them out directly and interacting with them like people instead of "machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out."

Naturally, Nice Guys don't grasp the difference between themselves and actual nice guys.

Current Mood: weird

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No, mokie, you're not misremembering--there were comments here.

Specifically, a self-described 'nice guy' took offense to the content of the links without bothering to read them or understand the actual meaning of the term (not words, term) 'Nice Guy', indulged in some defensive whining, didn't bother to read you pointing out that there was a specific context for the term 'Nice Guy' and indulged in some more defensive whining, and then gave a conditional well if that's true... when you described the bullshit you've put up with from 'Nice Guys' as an explanation of the term.

Yes, this is the guy who derailed a conversation on books talking about how smart he was, and thought your post on Rihanna and domestic violence was a good point to talk about tolerance, and tried to tell you 'what you really believe' in the Newtown post. Holy crap, why did you put up with this guy so long?

Try not to indulge others in this bullshit in the future, OK?

Edited Date: 2013-01-10 01:33 pm (UTC)

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mokie

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mokie - Mostly a note to myself...

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life in mokievision

always a cameron, never a ferris

As if millions of sperm suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced...