Gee, I wonder why I'm all newsed out.

I'm all politicked out. I'm all terrible newsed out. But politics and terrible news still happen, don't they?

In politics, a very few politicians--the ones who most love to wave around the Constitution, talk about fiscal responsibility and shame the poor for being poor and financially irresponsible--decided that since they couldn't shut down the Affordable Healthcare Act "in the manner laid out in the Constitution", they would instead refuse to pay America's credit bill, and then get on TV and roll their eyes because not paying your bills every once in a while isn't a bad thing.

They blamed the Democrats for refusing to negotiate with them over a bill that was already negotiated over three years ago, and then signed into law, and then upheld as Constitutional by the Supreme Court. They railed about the will of the people, and by people they mean corporations that don't want to insure their workers and rabidly religious folks who want to be able to tell their employees what medical services they can and cannot receive, because the bill itself has popular support. But what is popular support? No, democracy is about ignoring what the majority has voted into law in favor of catering to a small minority! This was socialist tyranny, and the only proper democratic response to such tyranny was to implement measures that allowed them to usurp control of proceedings and force everyone to bend to their will.

Because we all know the best way to keep workers in line is to keep them so poor and desperate for that job that they can't afford to worry about things like their safety or their rights, and health insurance would just screw that up what right does Obama have to tell them that it's none of their business if and why your doctor prescribes you Ortho-Tricyclen anything anyway?

In terrible news, a 14-year-old Maryville, MO teen claims she was raped by a high school athlete, dumped on her porch in freezing cold temps unconscious afterward, and then chased out of town for going to the cops. Her 13-year-old friend was raped at the same 'party' by another boy (while a third recorded both 'encounters') who confessed to the deed. The 17-year-old accused rapist also admitted to knowing the 14-year-old was drunk (which means legally unable to give consent in those parts), and besides that, she was 14, which makes it legally both statutory rape and rape-rape, for those keeping count, along with "sexual exploitation of a minor" for the kid recording it all and passing it around school.

But that's irrelevant when you're the grandson of a former state representative, and when the prosecutor has political ties to Granddad. And it gets worse! Read the article if you want to be really horrified.

Don't worry, though. That prosecutor is now seeking a special prosecutor to look into the case because, "My name was dragged through the mud in that article, and I don't appreciate that." Y'know, lest you think for a moment that he has a conscience or wants to ensure absolutely that justice was served or anything.

That yurt in the wilderness, far away from people, is looking better and better these days.

The Yogurt Conundrum

When I was young, yogurt was a strange and mysterious thing--sour and chalky and thick and weird--and only health nuts ate it. To win over a wider range of consumers, the yogurt companies caved to American taste buds. They slipped a little fruit in, a little sweetener, evened out the consistency, and eventually it became the lunch standard we know today.

But we all sort of knew that it wasn't really healthy anymore, in the same way we all sort of know that Starbucks really sells coffee-flavored milkshakes.

What's an adult to do? Half of growing up is learning to eat real food, not just snacks and treats and candy, but real food that's really healthy for you.

The answer seemed to spring up out of nowhere: Greek yogurt! It's like the yogurt we know, but healthy!

And sour, and chalky, and thick, and weird. Even Jamie Lee Curtis was having trouble pushing it, and her brand's sole advertising push is health. (Well, healthy pushing.)

Fear not! Here's Yoplait to the rescue, saving American consumers from themselves with their newly reformulated Greek yogurt that's sweet and smooth and not too thick or weird, but prominently labeled 'Greek' so everyone knows you're not just sucking down the dietary equivalent of dairy jello!

Meanwhile, 25% of a box of Lucky Charms is marshmallow pieces, the other 75% is sugar-coated oat, and 45% of its consumers are grown-ass people adults.