Just a reminder to myself about communication
Saturday, 16 August 2014 06:26 pmSpeaking of communication, I really need to remember that my communication style does not always go over well in emotionally charged situations.
I tend to look at things like other people look at knick-knacks - pick it up, turn it over and around and upside down, find all the bumps and scratches - and it can come across more callous than I notice. I sometimes 'argue' both sides, because the best way for me to feel out a side is to take it out for a ride and put it through its paces, but that sounds like trolling. Plus I crack jokes in tense situations, which makes me seem flippant (but great fun at funerals).
There are folks who want to talk about what's going on in Ferguson, because from their perspective it opens a wound that's festered and needs exposed to the light. There are folks who do not want to talk, or even hear talk, about Ferguson, because for them it's a fresh new gaping wound that needs people to stop poking it. I need to remember that someone offering a bit of information is not the same as someone opening the door to a bigger discussion, and to trust my own instincts about when to remove myself from someone's space, instead of waiting for them to speak up or blow up. Bigger worries, y'know?
And I need to remember that not everyone pulls out a joke when the cops are at the door. Also, I should maybe not do that ever again.
I tend to look at things like other people look at knick-knacks - pick it up, turn it over and around and upside down, find all the bumps and scratches - and it can come across more callous than I notice. I sometimes 'argue' both sides, because the best way for me to feel out a side is to take it out for a ride and put it through its paces, but that sounds like trolling. Plus I crack jokes in tense situations, which makes me seem flippant (but great fun at funerals).
There are folks who want to talk about what's going on in Ferguson, because from their perspective it opens a wound that's festered and needs exposed to the light. There are folks who do not want to talk, or even hear talk, about Ferguson, because for them it's a fresh new gaping wound that needs people to stop poking it. I need to remember that someone offering a bit of information is not the same as someone opening the door to a bigger discussion, and to trust my own instincts about when to remove myself from someone's space, instead of waiting for them to speak up or blow up. Bigger worries, y'know?
And I need to remember that not everyone pulls out a joke when the cops are at the door. Also, I should maybe not do that ever again.