mokie: A package of meat wishes you happy holidays (holiday personal)
Happy Public Sleeping Day! All winter long, you've come in from the cold, wet, miserable outdoors, peeled away your soggy layers of protective wear, and prepared to work in your toasty office, classroom, dungeon, etc., only to feel your eyelids grow heavy. Fight the soporific warmth no longer, friends! Today is the day you embrace your need to nap!

If you work on Saturday, that is. Or need to take the kids to the library. Or don't mind an embarrassed security guard tapping you on the shoulder and suggesting you leave the bank now.

No? Maybe Open That Bottle Night is more your speed. It's the night you take that bottle of wine you're saving for a very special occasion and declare that occasion to be now. But it has to be wine. And you have to wait till tonight. And, of course, then tomorrow would be Public Sleeping Day. Hrm.

How about Car Keys and Small Change Day, when we celebrate the pocket? We can't know exactly when the pocket was invented, but we do know they are mighty great for warming hands and carrying things smaller than a wine bottle and being a marsupial, and one day, surely, women will also get them in our clothing, if we don't give up and just start growing our own like wombats before then.

Yeah, I'm not sold on that one either.*

The anniversary of the Rebels' victory at Endor, when Pope Benedict XVI became the first pope to resign in almost 600 years?

Wait - no. You can't celebrate Endorian Memorial Day and ignore that it's also Kalevala Day because ewoks are basically hobbit wookiees without the brief acid interlude, but you can't celebrate Kalevala Day without eggs, or maybe you can, if you're Finnish and actually know how to celebrate Kalevala Day, but I'm making this up as I go, and with all the French toast weather we've had lately, I'm totally out of symbolic cosmic munchies.

Dord Day? The day when some cunning linguist noticed the perfectly cromulent word 'dord' in Webster's New International Dictionary (Second Edition) and tried to track it down, only to come across a massive Vatican conspiracy realize it was an error - a 'ghost word' created by someone misinterpreting the instruction that 'D or d' should be included as an abbreviation for 'density'?

Meh. I'm barely coherent using real words at the moment.

The feast day of Pope Hilarius? Nope. I'm not Catholic, and he wasn't nearly as funny as his name suggests. Unlike St. Juniper, who sounds like a goddamn riot - but his feast day was January 29th. On the other hand, he also sounds a lot like a human kender, and we all know that DragonLance's kender were nothing but renamed and slightly tweaked D&D halflings, which were themselves nothing but D&D hobbits after a C&D from the Tolkien estate, and you'd almost expect a kender saint to nick another saint's holiday, right?

Wait. If he's basically a kender saint and it's hobbit wookiee memorial day, can we tip a glass to both the inspiration for the Silmarillion and the pockets pilfered by a cunning linguist who just wanted a back-story for his made-up words?

This is complicated. I think I need a nap.

* Even though, as you may remember, I am technically a marsupial myself.
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